tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2123856541540335012024-03-12T18:46:10.781-05:00Cold Wet Fireeat, pray, shoveMJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-7101255111581583602014-02-27T12:57:00.000-06:002014-02-27T13:10:35.384-06:00Hot Pockets®<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-weight: bold;">Last month I ate some of those recalled Hot Pockets the USDA found to contain meat from 'diseased' and 'unsound' animals. What is an unsound animal? A cat with no feet? Anyway, I decided to reach out to Nestle</span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-weight: bold;"> to </span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-weight: bold;">learn the next steps.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>I was initially discouraged to see they blocked my messages, but then I discovered that Hot Pockets</b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> removed the ability to message their Facebook</b></span><b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> page altogether. I can't help but feel partially responsible. Anyway, this morning I received a UPS Next Day Air</b><b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> envelope containing a letter from Nestle</b><b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> and a bunch of coupons.</b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Never forget.</b></span></div>
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MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-7981450943025201932013-05-14T16:33:00.000-05:002013-05-14T16:43:37.194-05:00Childbirth Class Chronicles<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;"><br /></b></span>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">I don't want to get kicked in the leg tomorrow so I am recycling some old material that I posted on Facebook last year. Please enjoy the Childbirth Class Chronicles. Expecting fathers may find this post more helpful than an actual childbirth class.</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">they don't give out grades at childbirth class,
but if they did, i got an A. probably only a B for kate since she asked a
question that had already been answered. biggest takeaway: the birth is harder
on the woman than the man.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">watched a couple
videos that had to be rated at least NC-17, would have appreciated a heads up
on that. also learned there is very little offered in the way of support or
medication for the father. biggest takeaway: in order to relieve the mother's
pain, they drill a hole into her spine and jam stuff in it.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">still at the head
of the class. even made a joke tonight to show everyone i'm not all brains and
good looks. tonight we learned that mothers have several ways to combat labor
pain including bouncing on a ball, leaning against a wall, sitting in a chair
backward like fonzie, or simply by ignoring the father. biggest takeaway: a
c-section is a little worse than a saw movie.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">i'd like to use
this update to discuss the people in our class rather than the content. tonight
we parked early and saw a couple leave the dome light on in their car. walked
into class and found they'd also taken the seats kate and i usually occupy (in
the back, where cool people sit to learn). i still told them about their dome
light folly and the father went and turn<span class="textexposedshow">ed it off,
therein avoiding a dead battery for the drive home. upon his return i was a
little disappointed to hear no talk of a reward or even giving up our seats.
another mother insists on asking five (or more) questions every week, costing
us an extra 10-20 minutes of class time, and it's adding up. i hope she has a
really long labor. during the break our teacher played a song by Maroon 5 that
drives me up the wall, so instead of using the break to relax i made the
following observations of the class:</span><br />
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<span class="textexposedshow">1) hipsters have kids too.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">2) some fathers already seem frantic.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">3) every chick in the class is getting bigger.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">4) just like in 7th grade, when the teacher tells
us something especially disgusting the class deals with it via robust giggling.</span><br />
<span class="textexposedshow">5) i think several people look forward to class
purely for the free snacks, which are of marginal quality.</span><br />
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<span class="textexposedshow">i was planning to raise my hand tonight and suggest
a pizza party for our final week but now i'm not feelin that idea anymore.
gonna try to get over all this stuff and bring a better attitude to class next
week. i think my negativity prevented me from being the exemplary student i
usually am, which isn't fair to the rest of the class. still, i managed to
learn a few things. biggest takeaway: in the weeks after birth, mothers often
sweat a lot more and also lose a bunch of hair.</span></span><span class="textexposedshow"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">WEEK FIVE. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;">tonight was too
much. feel sorta traumatized, like when they showed the car wrecks in driver's
ed class. kinda wanna wash my eyes with bleach. gonna go to bed early and try
to forget as much as i can. i'll post a proper update tomorrow. goodnight,
moon.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">the last class.
diane didn't give us final grades but on the way out she gave me a look that
said 'you got an A.' the first thing we did was have the all fathers change the
diaper of a plastic practice baby. i've never handled a diaper before but i was
the first one done. was still feeling jazzed up from the packers win and almost
spiked the baby, but exercised restrain<span class="textexposedshow">t instead.
kind of worried about kate's swaddling skill set. i was making tight burritos
worthy of a chipotle wrapper and kate was putting up loose meat sandwiches.
learned that one reason a baby's arms get swaddled down is they'll periodically
wake up and see their arm and get confused as to who it is and become too upset
to sleep anymore. does my dog know whose tail that is? does he chase it because
he's worried it's another dog? when does a baby become smarter than a dog?
diane asked if any of us were a colicy baby and kate was one of just two people
to raise their hand. later i told her i wasn't cool with that and she just
demonstrated more baby colic symptoms. was disappointed no sort of yearbook got
passed out. baby class is all done and we are about a month away from a baby. a
gumbo of anxiety, excitement and terror is reaching a simmer in my gut. going
to swaddle myself and sleep til dawn while i still can.</span></span><span class="textexposedshow"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="background-color: black; color: magenta; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">EPILOGUE. </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">kind of missing childbirth class tonight.
e-mailing diane about rounding up the old crew for a reunion. maybe i can also
help out with future classes? kind of like when professor lambeau would pop
into robin williams' classroom in good will hunting. who knows, maybe she will
ask me to take the next savant under my wing and maybe somehow i hang out with
ben affleck a little bit. also realized i don't know where to park when all
this goes down, never saw a valet.</span></span><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-75609668375023652192013-05-08T08:16:00.000-05:002013-05-08T08:16:06.479-05:00La Cuisine d'Anna<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-55456883928749851372012-09-19T12:27:00.000-05:002012-09-19T15:42:44.256-05:00No Country For Old Pubes<br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Last Tuesday morning I got an
idea. <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>I caught some NFL highlights and
a particular image stuck with me. Scores flew across the bottom of the screen
over a shot of Tom Brady trotting into the tunnel after a win. Some hopeful
fans reached out for high fives and one fan really captivated me. This guy’s
face was deformed with adoration. Gaze transfixed, mouth agape, spittle flecks
airborne. Torso flung over the railing at an angle that told me falling twelve
feet on top of Tom Brady would be worth it just to touch Tom Brady. He loved
Tom Brady. I saw this man’s face for less than a second and I felt confident
he would trade his children for one ride on a ferris wheel with Tom. <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>People love sports, especially
sports heroes. How deep does that love run? How fanatical are fans? How crazy
are we? I made the Craigslist ad below to find some answers.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6E0-Ljha58OE-WHnx3e-FuaviR8q9ndEAajZ5y14OkIrSGhAW9BE0sUHRC3Crzs9txMJJk56Tg48hc2Xmbp_7UT1N0XbIyri1bFDsoZuDVsAFl3blEbQWKSZtLf7QFqWTfL3yBo6JCzQ/s1600/the+ad.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><img border="0" height="321" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6E0-Ljha58OE-WHnx3e-FuaviR8q9ndEAajZ5y14OkIrSGhAW9BE0sUHRC3Crzs9txMJJk56Tg48hc2Xmbp_7UT1N0XbIyri1bFDsoZuDVsAFl3blEbQWKSZtLf7QFqWTfL3yBo6JCzQ/s400/the+ad.gif" width="400" /></span></b></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;">click on ad to enlarge</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>I also included this photo.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnHQNpj8r6-Xhwd56sBWUPkHWjQIkae7k5Fh34q2tGvZXhtzig0YAV7DMRuM4SlK7BGC5CuCwUDqgmvw2evb_sFtfLwsmgHAv_GNHJnqg5ef5MnmgFvQP9wGATl-u31yOvUc5JNC0WtM/s400/the+pubes.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="236" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the parcel</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnHQNpj8r6-Xhwd56sBWUPkHWjQIkae7k5Fh34q2tGvZXhtzig0YAV7DMRuM4SlK7BGC5CuCwUDqgmvw2evb_sFtfLwsmgHAv_GNHJnqg5ef5MnmgFvQP9wGATl-u31yOvUc5JNC0WtM/s1600/the+pubes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;"></span></b></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><b>I posted the ad around 11am. By
4pm it got picked up by <a href="http://now.msn.com/brett-favre-pubic-hairs-being-sold-on-craigslist" target="_blank">MSN</a>, <a href="http://www.foxsports.com.au/other-sports/legendary-nfl-quarterback-brett-favres-pubic-hair-put-up-for-sale-online-for-200-by-equipment-manager/story-e6frf56c-1226472927716" target="_blank">FOX</a>, <a href="http://deadspin.com/brett-favre-pubes/" target="_blank">Deadspin</a>, <a href="http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2012/09/brett_favres_pubes_for_sale_for_200_or_best_offer_on_minneapolis_craigslist.php" target="_blank">City Pages</a>, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/piece-of-vikings-history-for-sale-in-this-minneapolis-craigslist-ad-supposedly-brett-favres-pubes-2012-9" target="_blank">Business Insider</a> and a couple dozen blogs
and fan sites. If you google ‘favre pubes’ or ‘game worn pubes’ you can find a
lot of interesting discussion about this. Some people are really disgusted
while others just really want the pubes. When I woke up on Wednesday I had
e-mails from the KFAN morning show offering me the full $200 and wanting to
talk on the air. By Wednesday afternoon Craigslist had taken my ad down, though
I’d already received inquiries from about twenty interested buyers. Some of
them wanted to haggle while others were ready to meet up ASAP with the full
$200. None of the e-mails became as wild as my exchange with <a href="http://coldwetfire.blogspot.com/2012/05/bruce.html" target="_blank">Bruce</a>, but I will
share my favorite excerpts. Yes, these are completely authentic quotes from
very real e-mails.</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“I’m a serious buyer.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Hello, I am a serious buyer.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“First
off, I'm a serious buyer.” <o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“I'm not a crazy person or anything.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Listen im not crazy or anything
I just want the pubes.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Look I’m not a weirdo I just
think this is awesome and I gotta have it.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“I am extremely
interested in Brett Favres pubes.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Can you call me ASAP my name is Mark and I'm a HUGE Vikes fan.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“The Powertrip on KFAN MUST HAVE
THESE!!!!!!! PLEASE CALL ME OR EMAIL ME”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“I really would love to
have this treasure, so I would be willing to make a trade for them.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“I live in Bloomington
and wil lpay the $200 aksing. Can meet tonight or tomorrow.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“200 cash I’m in Edina I can
meet you anywhere in half an hour.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“50 bucks. I’ll meet you
anywhere. Right now. Let’s do it.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“I
think it would be cool to add to my Vikes collection.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Do these come with a
certificate of authenticity?”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Do you have a DNA test?”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Do you have a better pictuer?<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Are you really Jenn Sterger?”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Are you Brett Favre?”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“Are they grey?”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>“I am wondering if you or
your brother knows anyone who still works in the equipments rooms of an NFL or
NCAA football team who could get their hands on game-used compression shorts or
jockstraps. I'd be willing to pay big money for such items. Discretion
guaranteed (for everyone's sake).”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnrjggwAc1p4HZaOkhaJLHd9ACT0T0PS2QJhH3Mn-Jge3rnve615JhZqj5EmQLR72Xzk3D_Xw3QzN9m_ijYDZVpIeJwmBiuDiYY70rOvdc9oV2QsF3FJOqmDfkoD7jyTbS0Nlu0qJqxs/s1600/city+pages.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvnrjggwAc1p4HZaOkhaJLHd9ACT0T0PS2QJhH3Mn-Jge3rnve615JhZqj5EmQLR72Xzk3D_Xw3QzN9m_ijYDZVpIeJwmBiuDiYY70rOvdc9oV2QsF3FJOqmDfkoD7jyTbS0Nlu0qJqxs/s400/city+pages.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>At best, I’ve put forth an
amusing prank that spotlights our advanced mania for sports heroes and internet
commerce. At worst, I came close to selling some hair from a dark patch on my
dog’s tail for $200 to some idiot. Either way I learned something—don’t know
what it is, but I learned something. The goal was never to swindle anyone so I didn’t
sell the goods, but now that I’ve come clean I am lowering the price to a cool
$20. A friend pointed out to me that someone has probably brought this to
Favre’s attention by now. I can’t picture Brett using the internet, so I
imagine him on his riding mower when a svelte assistant in Wrangler<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"> </span></span></b></span><b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">cut off
jean shorts walks across his lawn and shows him the story on an iPad. I picture
Brett shaking his head, lighting a cigarette, and riding off into a lake.</span></b></span></div>
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<i style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><b>"I don't know what to make of that. I sure don't." </b></i><br />
<i style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><b>-Sheriff Ed Tom Bell</b></i></div>
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MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-58879790214508846422012-05-22T14:32:00.002-05:002012-05-24T16:42:37.551-05:00Bruce<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>A few weeks ago a friend showed me this Craigslist ad. Click on the image to read it more easily.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtezJzlJFtk8pHdYMz-isiPQ6w-NpcIIObkekbijSr3sVYjPWqU7e1fRFM9KMlKx2yI3LrbGDr9S46rjQXsBFCHfwPCWNROnJ9niPqxOBuf854JlOLzhZK_PC5iL5xpJS_TsvtPUmDWK4/s400/i+work+nude.gif" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bruce's Craigslist ad for naked labor.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtezJzlJFtk8pHdYMz-isiPQ6w-NpcIIObkekbijSr3sVYjPWqU7e1fRFM9KMlKx2yI3LrbGDr9S46rjQXsBFCHfwPCWNROnJ9niPqxOBuf854JlOLzhZK_PC5iL5xpJS_TsvtPUmDWK4/s1600/i+work+nude.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;"></span></b></a></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I couldn't resist, had to e-mail this guy. I figured the whole ad was a joke and I might not even </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">get a reply. I got a reply. It took off from there.</span></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">To be clear, at no point during any of this did I intend to hire Bruce or have him anywhere near </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">my property. I'd also like to apologize to my wife and mother for doing stuff like this. I really </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">am not a maniac. I like to laugh.</span></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I also promise that this entire exchange is completely real and I did not invent or alter any of </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Bruce's responses.</span></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<br />
<b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R<br />
To: mdsdr-295756XXXX@serv.craigslist.org<br />
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 8:13 AM<br />
Subject: handyman help</b></span><br />
<br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Hello,</b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Definitely interested in your services.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Do you have much landscaping experience?</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Clearing dirt, laying border stones, planting, etc?</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>The yard is fenced in and private.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 10:45 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thanks for your inquiry. I really do not have landscaping experience to speak of. Many years </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">ago I helped a friend build a big retaining wall and and I built a small one for myself, but </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">that's about it other than routine yard work. I'd be happy to work with you doing this but I </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">don't think you'd want me to do it on my own.</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 10:48 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Hi Bruce,</b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Aside from the landscaping project, I also have a bathroom remodel, and in the kitchen I’m </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">looking to swap out new countertops and possibly replace the sink/faucet.</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Are you more adept at any of that stuff?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 10:56 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: Re: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The things you just mentioned are more my speed. I completely remodeled my bathroom, </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">gutting it to the studs, replacing all plumbing and electrical as part of the process. Replacing </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">a sink and faucet shouldn't be bad. I've replaced all of the plumbing and electrical in my own </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">house myself. I've never replaced a counter top before but would say it could be anywhere </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">from fairly easy to quite challenging, depending on what it is made of and other factors. In </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">all cases, I think I would feel more comfortable working with you, or at least with you </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">watching, as opposed to by myself just because I would want to make sure that everything I </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">did was to your satisfaction. When were you looking to do all this and where are you </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">located?</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 11:09 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>For timeframe I am looking start at least one of the projects before May. I am located in Edina.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Given the free-spirited nature of your services I naturally have some mild concerns around </b></span><b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">whether or not you’re nuts. Just a little nuts is quite fine, but smearing peanut butter on your </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">body or my TV is not fine.</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The direct and articulate tone of your post makes me think this is low risk, but do you have </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">any sorts of references or previous work history to take a glance at? Even if just a Facebook </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">page where I can confirm you’re not wearing an ICP t-shirt?</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 11:29 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: Re: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>I don't understand the tee-shirt reference, but that's OK. I don't think I'm nuts and I would </b></span><b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">certainly say I'm low risk. I promise not to spread peanut butter anywhere you don't want it. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As for references or work history that you could see, I'll say this. This is not what I do for a </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">living, so I don't have a long list of references or body of work for you to see. I find myself </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">with more free time in the summer months. Free time equates to less income. So I'm doing </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">this to supplement my income. </span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That said, there is one person I've done a few small jobs for while working naked. I could p</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">robably use him as a reference. There's another person for whom I did a small job a few </span></b><b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">weeks ago, also working naked. In both cases, I would get their permission before I gave you </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">their contact information. May starts next week already. I'll have a lot more time, mostly </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">mornings during the week, starting the week after that. If you're still interested, what I suggest </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">is that I come over and take a look at what you want done. I'll tell you whether or not I think I </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">can do it, we can discuss pay, schedule, etc. and go from there. If at any point you decide I'm </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">not up to snuff you can always tell me to hit the road (in a nice way, I hope!).</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 12:18 PM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks for the details. I’m thinking mid-May is a more realistic start time for me. We can </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">connect for an assessment of the work closer to that time.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>In the meantime, if the previous clients you mentioned give permission I wouldn’t mind </b></span><b><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">shooting them an e-mail to confirm all was fine. Certainly nothing personal, just can’t be too </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">cautious in the internet age. If you have a pic to relay (non-nude) that would be welcomed.</span></b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">With regard to your services I’m curious how you arrived at the nudity decision? To be clear, I </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">live with my wife here and am not interested in anything remotely sexual, but I’m certainly </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">impressed by your business plan.</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, April 23, 2012 12:18 PM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I agree with you about not being too careful and I don't take it personally. You are wise to </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">check references. I've got permission for you to contact one of them. I'm still waiting to hear </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">from the other. You can call or e-mail him as follows:</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Cliff</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Clifford.xxxxx@xxxx.net</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Phone: 612-XXX-XXXX</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>The photo I've attached was taken last summer.</b></span><br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As for the nudity, it's like this. I love being naked. I almost never wear anything if I don't have </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">to. I also like being seen naked. Like I said before, my income drops in the summer, so I need </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">to find a way to make more money then. I think I'm pretty handy so I decided to combine the </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">nudity and handiness in an attempt to make some money. There are lots of places one can go </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">to find someone to do pretty much any kind of work for them. For the most part, none of them </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">really stands out when you're looking for someone. You have to admit that the word "naked" </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">gets ones attention. Honestly, if my ad did not say I'd work naked, would you have contacted </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">me? I doubt it. Like I said, the word "naked" gets attention and I'm sure conjures up all sorts </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">of images in the minds of those who read my ad. Furthermore, whether they admit it or not, I </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">think most people enjoy looking at naked bodies regardless of gender or sexuality. Sadly, </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">some people probably see the word "naked" and immediately assume I'm some sort of pervert </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">who has no intention of actually working and is using the ad as a thinly veiled plot to get sex. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I can assure you that is not the case and, thankfully, you appear to understand that. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Moreover, I very much like the idea of working for/with someone who accepts nudity for what </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">it is, does not equate it with sex, and who may even enjoy having a naked person around. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There is nothing wrong with enjoying the sight of a naked person and enjoying it does not </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">mean the situation has to turn sexual in any way.</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>I hope that long-winded explanation suffices.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Alright. At this point it became pretty clear to me that Bruce is dead serious about working </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">naked, and dead serious about loving it. I e-mailed Cliff and he told me Bruce was legit and </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the work was done well. </span></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Bruce attached a photo, which I have censored below. He looks like a cross between Spielberg </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">and Santa. Imagine this guy spread out on your kitchen floor, naked, installing a new sink.</span></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYFzIeS_1xexs0Lc78yGu-jaEO5BJaYetKziaeBlTfhjyA3CRsiVl3Ojp7r1STr-72V81ZbvQIIBoGx2QNGuEJ2geBAXVghft8_jeH-OYld0OooA7oJMBNMdKOIwbAwvfprl72zRvvXg/s320/sandy+hook.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bruce, wearing his clothes.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOYFzIeS_1xexs0Lc78yGu-jaEO5BJaYetKziaeBlTfhjyA3CRsiVl3Ojp7r1STr-72V81ZbvQIIBoGx2QNGuEJ2geBAXVghft8_jeH-OYld0OooA7oJMBNMdKOIwbAwvfprl72zRvvXg/s1600/sandy+hook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><span style="color: #cccccc;"></span></b></a></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b><span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's time to shut this down, in a diplomatic yet creative manner. I appeal to a couple friends for </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">advice on how to play it. In the end, I decide on the path below.</span></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From:</b></span> <b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b> <span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 6:38 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: Fw: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Were you able to contact the reference I sent you? I still haven't heard from the other one. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Shall I try him again or will the one suffice? Any further thoughts so far?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b> <span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 2:04 PM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Hey Bruce, really busy day, I'll be in touch.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From:</b></span> <b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b> <span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2012 10:02 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: Re: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>I don't mean to pester you or appear pushy. I'm just wondering how likely it is that you will </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">go ahead and have me work for you. If so, are you still thinking mid May? For how long? I'm </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">just trying to get an idea of what I'll be doing in the next few weeks so I can plan my life. It </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">would be nice if I knew whether or not this would be a part of it.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Have a good one,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b> <span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, May 07, 2012 11:26 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce, sorry, traveling overseas right now and really have my hands full. I'll get in touch when </b></span><b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm stateside again.</b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, May 21, 2012 10:06 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Good morning Bruce,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sorry for my sparse communication, I ran into some trouble during a research trip in </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thailand this month. It’s all sorted now.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>The work. I’d like to start with the kitchen remodel since my wife is out of town for a few </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">weeks. I think tackling the countertops first is the way to go, then address installing a new </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">sink, and lastly take a look at throwing in some new cabinets. I’ve already selected a material </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">for the new counters, really easy to clean. Are you free sometime this week to come take a look </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">and determine how much help you can be?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>My schedule for the next few weeks is pretty wide open. I think we can easily get this done in a </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">few ten-hour days. I should note that my house will be a pretty unique work environment for </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">awhile. I’ve got a number of houseguests with me for a stretch until their friends arrive in MN </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">to pick them up. Some of these guests are very young, and some don’t really have the parts </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">you’d expect. Most of them also share your same open and natural attitude toward nudity. </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">They certainly won’t bother us and none of them even speak English. Just figured it was worth </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">mentioning this so you’re not surprised or anything when you stop over to take a look at the </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">kitchen.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Talk to you soon,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From:</b></span> <b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b> <span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, May 21, 2012 3:29 PM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: Re: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>The best time for me to take a look would be Thursday after about 1:00 or so or any time </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Friday morning or afternoon. Would you like me to be naked when I come over? Am I to </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">understand that you will have guests while we're working but it's OK for me to be naked even </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">so?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, May 21, 2012 5:10 PM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Yes, the guests will be around the house while we are working. It is definitely OK for you to be </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">naked around them, most of them have been naked for months. They can get kind of annoying </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">sometimes and I don’t speak Thai, but I find if I just wrangle them into the basement and shut </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the door I can get a couple hours of peace and quiet without some 12-year-old slapping my </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">leg with her dick. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>I guess they aren’t all bad. Boonsri makes a pretty mean chicken pad thai. Phanphan does this </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">crazy little dance when the microwave beeps, makes me laugh. And Chaulay has the softest </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">skin you’ve ever felt. But make no mistake about it, I will be thrilled when Dmitry shows up to </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">get them out of here.</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Sure, be naked when you stop by. I’m thinking Friday afternoon works best. I might want us to </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">swing by Home Depot just to price stuff out and see what’s what if that’s alright, I live a couple </b></span><b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">miles away from one.</b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Monday, May 21, 2012 8:18 PM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: Re: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>I knew I should have checked my schedule before telling you when I could come over! I have </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">another commitment for Friday afternoon. I could make it Friday morning as long as I'm back </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">home by about noon or so. Otherwise Thursday any time after about 1:00 or so. Otherwise </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">we're looking at next week.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>That's going to be some strange situation at your house! Sounds like everyone in the house </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">will be naked except you! Or are you going to work naked, too? Should be interesting!</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>612-XXX-XXXX</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>I really didn't expect to get a reply to my last e-mail. Who in the world could be down for </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">some nude labor around a handful of illegal thai ladyboys? Bruce. Bruce is down for that. </b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>At this point I am also suspicious that Bruce is onto my joke and running with it anyway. He is </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">using exclamation points. He is adding his phone number. Is he calling my bluff? Or is he </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">truly into this? I can't decide.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>I realize I don't care and decide to continue pushing it until I find something that makes Bruce </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">flinch. It doesn't take long.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:24 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Friday morning won’t work for me. Let’s aim for Monday?</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Yes, a strange situation indeed inside my house. No, I will not be naked. I am what some refer </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">to as a ‘never nude,’ meaning I am almost never naked, let alone naked with an audience. My </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">wife has only seen me in the buff twice, and I had to take three days off work after both of </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">those incidents to recover from the trauma. I think I was probably born with a towel on.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Maybe that is why I’m so intrigued by naked people and always seem to have some around. </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Perhaps my subconscious is compensating for my own fears somehow, reaching out for the </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">naked it needs. I don’t know. I don’t have the time or money to explore the psychological </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">imbalances that propel me.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Growing up in rural Montana, my dad always had his friends over and they would all walk </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">around naked. Play cards naked. Watch baseball naked. Yell at the TV naked. Shoot at cans </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">naked. At the end of the night he and/or a friend would usually come into my room and cuddle </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">up with me in my bed, naked, just holding me. Nothing molesty or anything, just good old </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">fashioned naked cuddling. Though I, of course, was clothed in full pajamas complete with </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">footies. </b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Unfortunately my dad passed a couple years ago. I’ve done my best to deal with it. I stay busy </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">with work. I travel a lot. My wife is really supportive. But one void that remains glaringly </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">unfilled is the naked bedtime man-cuddling. As I said, it was never anything sexual, not in the </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">least bit. So, I’m just going to put it out there: if after a ten-hour day working in my kitchen I </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">am ready to hit the sack, would you mind being the big spoon until I fall asleep? Just for half </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">an hour or so? You could let yourself out afterward, or stick around and enjoy some </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">potstickers with Boonsri. Again, not looking for anything sexual, it’s purely psychotherapeutic. </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I feel like it is the last step in saying bye to dad.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Home Depot opens at 7am on Monday, we could get an early start if you’re up for it.</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks,</b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b> <span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:35 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: Re: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike,</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>You didn't mention Thursday, so I'll assume that doesn't work for you. Being a holiday, I have </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">plans for Monday. So that's out. I could make it Tuesday or Wednesday morning or any time </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thursday (I think). I'm not sure if my schedule will allow me to work 10-hour days. Some </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">days probably yes and some no. We can figure that out when we get that far. I would not feel </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">comfortable with curling up in bed with you. I don't mind being asked, though. I'm pretty </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">open-minded. I think it's cool that your dad and friends used to hang around naked. I'm </b><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">sorry to hear about his passing. Can we shoot for Tuesday morning?</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<b style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">__________________________________________________</b>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>From: Michael R</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 10:29 AM</b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To: </b></span><b style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">iworknude@xxxxxx.net </b><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Subject: RE: In my Birthday Suit! (Minneapolis)</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Bruce,</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Unfortunately, I was able to locate a different nude handyman on Craigslist who is into non-</b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">sexual spooning.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Barry has great availability this week and also looks kinda like a cross between my dead dad </b></span><b style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">and Tom Selleck.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks a lot for your interest in the project, I’m sorry we couldn’t get it up and running. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get Phanpeet to the hospital before Barry shows up.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks,</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Mike</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-87835960937425243102012-05-15T08:16:00.003-05:002012-05-15T09:30:50.568-05:00Cold Wet Book<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>To the six people who care: I am writing a book. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>It is going to take me a long time as I create at a glacial pace.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>After that, it could take even more time to trick a publishing house into liking it.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Please stand by to witness either my greatest triumph or most public failure.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b>Thanks.</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-14252918478622420492011-06-05T19:11:00.017-05:002011-06-05T20:53:35.198-05:00Dave's Habanero Delight<div><div><div><div><div><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>.</strong></span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>My friend Dave and I have a standing bet every time the Packers and Vikings play. If Minnesota wins, I eat a habanero pepper, if Green Bay wins, Dave eats a habanero pepper. I hadn't seen Dave since last fall, so when he came to town this weekend I was excited to watch him enjoy the snacks I picked out for him at Whole Foods.</strong></span><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1EGLvxxWsdo" allowfullscreen="" width="425" frameborder="0" height="349"></iframe><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Dave chose to eat the peppers right before we all headed out to breakfast. When we got seated at The Lyndale Tap House, he had disappeared. I had noticed him grunting and panting during the walk to the restaurant, and figured he must have headed straight downstairs to the men's room. We then had the text message conversation below.</span></strong><br /><strong></strong></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><br /><br /><br /></span><strong style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">ME:</span> <span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-weight: bold;">You OK?</span></span></strong><br /><strong style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">DAVE:</span> <span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-weight: bold;">Go ahead & order, this could be a bit. Get me a pancake.</span></span></strong><br /><strong style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">ME: </span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-weight: bold;">Talk to me about what is happening.</span></span></strong><br /><strong style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">DAVE:</span> <span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204); font-weight: bold;">The fever just broke, must have been 105. Im soaked in sweat. Pooping.</span></span></strong><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">After about 20 minutes I decided to go downstairs and try to interview Dave while on his journey through discomfort. It really was like winning the Super Bowl all over again.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span></strong></span><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Vam5ZbzKlfE" allowfullscreen="" width="425" frameborder="0" height="349"></iframe><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong><br /><br /><br /><br /></strong></span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 204, 204);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>.</strong></span></span></span></div> </div></div></div></div>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-6005081877291812472010-01-25T22:58:00.001-06:002010-01-25T23:01:39.868-06:00Mike Tirico Suavé<span style="color:#000000;">.</span><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIlwfDH1me4xc-LAa2a6wnc7n9oBNLaYikVXGM9AD8XUom5Rgks_sfc6guWuKmjw0sBQt_AQ9MqdTlrn4yWbl1EFDIljVqpRe0mpUtWRI-MU7NLYvMvGySlXQdd2-UBR0u3ooe5iL2Sw8/s1600-h/tiricosuave.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5430908524911497906" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIlwfDH1me4xc-LAa2a6wnc7n9oBNLaYikVXGM9AD8XUom5Rgks_sfc6guWuKmjw0sBQt_AQ9MqdTlrn4yWbl1EFDIljVqpRe0mpUtWRI-MU7NLYvMvGySlXQdd2-UBR0u3ooe5iL2Sw8/s400/tiricosuave.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#000000;">.</span><br /><div></div>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-91591463247771694572009-11-17T13:04:00.010-06:002009-11-17T14:00:08.872-06:00Hawk vs Squirrel In My Front Yard<p><span style="color:#000000;">.</span><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyFxqyOWn0p0kvM_t458ASjog-jr0TpjcGDyZV_ydSuOvW7OqpRML70MDriEkflc1NSF6cdPNGClELBg17cxw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color:#000000;">.....</span></p>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-34337928541856763262009-01-27T08:56:00.004-06:002009-01-27T09:24:58.250-06:00Snacks Denied<span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#000000;"><strong>.</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;"><strong>From: </strong></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;"><strong><a href="mailto:privatetournaments@fulltiltpoker.com">privatetournaments@fulltiltpoker.com</a></strong></span></span><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">Sent: Friday, Jan 23, 2009 11:38 AM</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">To: Pterodonktyl</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;">Subject: Re: Snacks</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">Hello,</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">Thank you for your e-mail and hosting your tournaments on FTP. I sincerely apologize for the delay replying to your e-mail. </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">Unfortunately at this time, we at private tournaments do not have the authority to add promotional prizes to private tournament prize pools, including snacks. Apologies for any inconvenience that this may cause.</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">If you have any questions, do not hesitate to reply to this e-mail.</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">Thank you,</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">John</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">Team Full Tilt</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>---------- Forwarded message ----------</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>From: Pterodonktyl</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>Sent: Sunday, Jan 18, 2009 3:12 PM</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>To: </strong></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong><a href="mailto:privatetournaments@fulltiltpoker.com">privatetournaments@fulltiltpoker.com</a></strong></span></span><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>Subject: Fwd: Snacks</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong><br />Kinda worried I have not seen a response to the inquiry below yet.<br /><br />Are you guys OK? Let me know if I should call the police or something.</strong></span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>------------ Original message -----------</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>From: Pterodonktyl</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>Sent: Friday, January 16, 2009 12:49 PM</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>To: </strong></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong><a href="mailto:privatetournaments@fulltiltpoker.com">privatetournaments@fulltiltpoker.com</a></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#cccccc;"><strong>Subject: Snacks</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>Hello, </strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>I recently had 2 weekly private tournaments created on Full Tilt Poker, the DONKAMENT GUARANTEED and the DONKAMENT DELIGHT. Thank you very much for your help setting these up--my friends and I are thoroughly enjoying them! </strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>We were wondering if it would be possible for FT to also include some snacks for players registered in these private tournies. Often in live home tournaments, an entry fee goes toward pizza and beer for the players. As you may already know, a poker tournament is a mentally and physically draining endeavor, often making players hungry for a refreshing snack. </strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>In 2007, the MAYO Clinic reported that some 390 players died due to lack of nutrition during tournament play in North America alone. </strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>We are not seeking anything lavish, but how about some pretzels? Beer nuts? Pringles? We will let you surprise us. Personally I am a fan of anything sour cream 'n onion flavored. </strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>If you send the snacks in .zip format I think that would work best. </strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>Thanks! </strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL</strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#000000;"><strong>.</strong></span>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-18913684157152466532009-01-19T19:57:00.009-06:002009-01-19T20:08:16.439-06:00I Am 28 Years Old<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLkcyHjMHXuGN8wkYx1Hq90sD_UHHa01vskiL2c57kED3AYcRaV9WYe1ABAp5TVJH8e-EWzseHYAkqn6jKqg0tb-qBL1pL5qvRI7L9fmBGrYcA6fYc4PIppRiFVKm6Iw2u8V_aCuRR_Ko/s1600-h/bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293190154723187938" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 287px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLkcyHjMHXuGN8wkYx1Hq90sD_UHHa01vskiL2c57kED3AYcRaV9WYe1ABAp5TVJH8e-EWzseHYAkqn6jKqg0tb-qBL1pL5qvRI7L9fmBGrYcA6fYc4PIppRiFVKm6Iw2u8V_aCuRR_Ko/s400/bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">gllen just farted</span></strong></span><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>gllen: <span style="color:#ffffff;">not true, i'm reporting you</span></strong></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">im calling a moderator</span></strong></span><span style="color:#ffffff;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ff0000;"><strong>moderator4 [Moderator]: Hello players</strong></span><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">moderator, gllen farted super bad</span></strong></span><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ff0000;"><strong>moderator4 [Moderator]: PokerStars is an adult site and some table banter is permitted. However, we have a handy little feature that allows anyone to block another's chat. Simply right click on their name and check off block. :)</strong></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ff0000;"><strong>moderator4 [Moderator]: Good luck now all :)</strong></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">what?</span></strong></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">i cant block a fart</span></strong></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ff0000;"><strong>moderator4 [Moderator]: Please call for serious chat issues only</strong></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">i am</span></strong></span></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;">PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">it reeks</span></span><br /></strong></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong>PTERODONKTYL: <span style="color:#ffffff;">im tilting bc of it</span></strong></span></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#000000;">.</span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#000000;">.<br />.<br />.</span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#3366ff;"></span></strong></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong></strong></span></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#3366ff;"><strong><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293190249246376178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 383px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs5cOfdwAM1pwNicUOHMofE5ku4wxxeuDR2_iMz35rXk4jTCrEeBMHwQMDFvkid0ZBAi6SYNNP1qEcZMzuM2rqXMQUgmnG_ADZ58Z8DTwf5FO9wAAQjurmI_yVMtqIK9ZwUCb2cX3hImk/s400/nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.jpg" border="0" /></strong></span></div>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-25745205599350838042009-01-19T19:29:00.001-06:002009-01-19T19:29:44.699-06:00Rifle Available<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/O0B_UZNtEk4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/O0B_UZNtEk4&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-14374851114702960022009-01-19T19:25:00.005-06:002009-01-19T20:22:43.821-06:00"Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky."<span style="color:#000000;">.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7-pyHdMi-vjjcLLD4rm2LZEY3ZNcWYCAR4oLvmhQISEEpcO1hiiGHNgSHc6xDxQYM12iV4AMY7dX6Fs6-8Dcmvs4ZtdE3RKpOv_rGg4nJU_IHRN7AKvpX_cSW_oAr_UKj4KViZlsp4U0/s1600-h/eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293181721041599826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7-pyHdMi-vjjcLLD4rm2LZEY3ZNcWYCAR4oLvmhQISEEpcO1hiiGHNgSHc6xDxQYM12iV4AMY7dX6Fs6-8Dcmvs4ZtdE3RKpOv_rGg4nJU_IHRN7AKvpX_cSW_oAr_UKj4KViZlsp4U0/s400/eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><span style="font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;"></span></div>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-34452924416617572812009-01-19T19:20:00.006-06:002009-01-19T20:13:50.869-06:00Jesus Shufflesworth AKA ’72 Dolphins<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>Jesse and I made Herkimer shuffleboard history this summer by posting a perfect 20-0 regular season, and then winning through the playoffs for the championship.</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>There is a pretty slim chance we get over ourselves anytime soon, sorry.</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>We will be appearing on The Today Show talking with Ann Curry this Friday, as well as hosting the season premiere of SNL. We've also been given our own float in the Rose Bowl Parade. I got a shoe deal with Nike.</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>The fall season will be much tougher, but like the perfect 1972 Miami Dolphins we are not scurrd.</strong></span><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong><br /></strong></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><span style="color:#cccccc;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293179887237202434" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKqFL0S-U78PUzjKaZ2GLBu-NxcrtTz7zmztoKgcvKvORbfebJ1WTIfUrKce8iWsRrOqCzvzL9ATFwaPoInwYdV48JN9x9kOniSBdG0UA92w93lvStjjNh8yHxGLNm6MWb2MJQHRjTHX0/s400/qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq.jpg" border="0" /><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#cccccc;"></span></p>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-3764535805527163932009-01-19T19:09:00.009-06:002012-09-19T15:21:58.138-05:00Thank You, Kiet<span style="color: #cccccc;"><strong></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><strong><span style="font-size: 130%;">-----Original Message-----<br />From: PokerStarsSupport <br />Sent: Friday, June 06, 2008 7:29 PM<br />To: Michael R<br />Subject: Your question: Why do I suck so bad?</span><br /><br /><br />Hello Michael,<br /><br />Thank you for your email.</strong><br /><br /><strong>To be honest, I don't know the answer to your question. You are better off asking your opponents or analysing your own plays to see where you went wrong. Alternatively you can post your plays on poker forums and request other players' opinion on them.<br /><br />While we are not in a position to make such comments on your plays, we can provide you with every single real money hand you have played on our site so others may. If you would like to request your hand history, please let me know and I will send them along.<br /><br />Regards,<br /><br />Kiet<br />PokerStars Support Team<br /><br /><br /><br /></strong></span></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><strong><span style="font-size: 130%;">----- Original Message -----<br />From: michael r<br />Sent: 2008/06/06 18:13:00<br />To: support@pokerstars.com<br />Subject: RE: Results for PokerStars Tournament 91117951</span><br /><br /><br /><br />Just one question.<br /><br />Why do I suck so bad ?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></strong></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><strong><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size: 130%;">-----Original Message-----<br />From: PokerStars Support <br />Sent: Friday, June 06, 2008 5:07 PM<br />To: Michael R<br />Subject: Results for PokerStars Tournament 91117951</span><br /><br /><br />PokerStars Tournament 91117951, No Limit Hold'em<br />Buy-In: $25.00/$2.00<br />9 players<br />Total Prize Pool: $225.50 </span></strong></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: trebuchet ms;"><strong>Tournament started - 2008/06/06 - 17:34:57 (ET)<br /><br /><br />Dear EliCash_62,<br /><br />You finished the tournament in 5th place.<br /><br />You have won an admission ticket to 'WSOP Step 1'. This ticket allows you to participate only in a tournament of this type. Tickets are not redeemable for cash or Tournament Dollars (T$); if you register and then unregister from the tournament, your ticket will be returned.<br /><br />To view your available tournament tickets, go to Requests > Tournament Tickets in the main lobby.<br /><br />Please contact </strong></span><a href="mailto:support@pokerstars.com"><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: trebuchet ms;"><strong>support@pokerstars.com</strong></span></a><strong><span style="color: #cccccc; font-family: trebuchet ms;"> if you have any questions.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"></span></strong>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-62477867821009832422009-01-19T18:49:00.010-06:002009-03-11T08:39:37.939-05:00Dust To Dust<p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#000000;">.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#000000;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">The older we got, the less our dad liked us. It was simply a fact about him that he loved babies and children, but str</span></strong><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">uggled to enjoy the presence of a teenager. It was something I was never fully conscious of as I grew up, but it became clear years later. You can't see a crop circle while walking the field. My parents lost their first born, Jason, to leukemia when he was just seven years old—I don't think my dad ever really recovered from that.<br /></span></strong></p><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"><p><br />Towards the end of our lives as a family, praise or involvement from him was increasingly a rarity. It didn't bother me much at that point, as like many high school kids my thoughts were bent on going to college and getting up and away already. When my parents dropped me off at college in the Fall of 1998, my dad shook my hand and said the most direct and honest thing he'd said to me in months, "Good luck, even though luck has nothing to do with it." I think it might have pissed me off for a brief moment, because I was a teenager and beyond tired of hearing shit like that, but it was true. I did enter college unsure of how I would fare, curious of what was ahead and scared that it could be some world so foreign and uncomfortable that I would find no other path than failure. After all, I spent about twenty minutes (total) doing homework in high school and somehow eked out a 3.1 GPA. But I did get good ACT and SAT scores. I knew I was smart, I just didn't know if I'd be one of those guys that makes it a year or less and finds a reason to quit, and I think my parents had that concern as well.<br /></p><p><br />In June of 1999 I was back in Madison for what would be my last summer there, proud and triumphant after earning about a 3.5 or so in my first year at a Big Ten school. It was surely a year of accelerated growth and learning beyond the classroom, and I had proven that I could do it, I could succeed and go forth responsibly. I had not fully realized this for myself until one day that June my dad and I got in the car to go meet my mom somewhere for dinner. As he put the car in gear and backed out of our driveway, he said, "I just wanna tell ya mom and I are real proud of you. A lotta guys don't make it past year one. You did really well. You're gonna be OK." I think it was the nicest thing he ever said to me. I realize the event was not the most personal or touching, but his relationship with us wasn't either. By that point he was already in a long term extra-marital relationship, and was just going through the motions with our family. The discovery and divorce and so on was months away, but he had pretty much already checked out.<br /></p><p><br />That day, I know he made a point to say that to me before he said it. I know that he had thought about it and realized it was probably something I needed to hear, something I would need to remember years later, something someone did or didn't say to him when he was nineteen.</p><p></span></strong> </p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ffffff;"></span></strong></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">.</span></p><p></p>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-20740363350018835532009-01-19T18:47:00.002-06:002009-01-19T20:21:22.624-06:00The Royal Floppenbaums<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG1Q5yd2OPTiDyLeVhjIgPKl5mWpWuZEm4klzn2rl5lQk9uODZUyMF4tzXZ28erIzc4C1R9Vj21HC_agwRsMpIkEsyWtbmSlTHGZmfgH0C_TJ0ICkXKcjmBZ5WMI9MncNeOQEXhIxfOp4/s1600-h/fffffffffffffffffff.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293171122806287314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 288px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhG1Q5yd2OPTiDyLeVhjIgPKl5mWpWuZEm4klzn2rl5lQk9uODZUyMF4tzXZ28erIzc4C1R9Vj21HC_agwRsMpIkEsyWtbmSlTHGZmfgH0C_TJ0ICkXKcjmBZ5WMI9MncNeOQEXhIxfOp4/s400/fffffffffffffffffff.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-60745584763243359452009-01-19T18:29:00.002-06:002009-01-29T12:20:11.853-06:00An Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong></strong></span><br /><span style="color:#cccccc;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>I had a dream the other night.<br /><br />I am at Herkimer with all my friends on a summer night, playing shuffleboard and downing drinks. I look over and see Tate getting drunk with a girl on each arm. Right away this should have tipped me off that I'm dreaming. Instead, I'm thinking, "Get after it, Tate."<br /><br />Suddenly the music stops and people cease playing shuffleboard to watch an ominous, dark green egg descend from the ceiling. It hits the floor and starts to crack open. While that one is hatching, a couple more drop. The first newborn emerges and starts unfolding and rapidly growing until it's around eight feet tall, and sure as shit, it's one of the long-skulled black lizard bastards from the "Aliens" films. Pretty much the worst thing to have to deal with without a gun. Basically UnFukWitAble. So this creepy asshole stands up and lets out a deafening shriek, then whips his tail across the bar and sticks JoeTime right through the shoulder. As JoeTime is always armed, he pulls out a knife and starts stabbing the tail, obviously. The infamous neon green acid blood starts flying, melting JoeTime's knife and arm while he feverishly continues his defense.<br /><br />I could not make this up.<br /><br />By this point we have total pandemonium in Herkimer. Everyone is booking it in all directions, waving their arms above their heads, throwing chairs out windows to escape and whatnot. I think the lights were probably flashing, too (for no reason). I am cornered by the shuffleboard table, nowhere near a door or window, so I bolt for the bathroom. Tate and one of the chicks (the one that was less hot) are right behind me. We get in, slam the door, and I put all my weight against it (which has no lock, not that the lock would last 3 seconds). I yell, "TATE GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME KEEP THIS SHIT SHUT!" just in case one of the aliens saw us go in here, or needs to take a dump. I crane my neck and see Tate standing by the sinks, making out with the chick. "TATE GOD DAMMIT WHERE IS YOUR BRAIN, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE AND HELP ME!" however he continues to make out with the chick. The awesome part is that the chick sees and hears me, and makes eye contact with me, but then just keeps making out—she literally chooses making out with Tate over preventing her imminent slaughter. I'm thinking, "How can you not be worried about the vicious space aliens outside this flimsy wooden door." I do a double take to verify she is not Sigourney Weaver, and she is not.<br /><br />One of the aliens starts ramming the door, and I glance in Tate's direction again and start to say, "Nice knowin' ya, ya dumb son of a," but all I see is their shoes as they wriggle into an air duct near the ceiling. "DAMMIT!" I prop the garbage can against the door and leap for the open air duct thinking, "Oh god watch me be too fat to get through this thing and an alien bites my face off because of it."<br /><br />I get in the duct and wriggle through what seems like a hundred yards of twists and turns. I am pretty sure the alien is behind me (I can hear echoes of hissing and drooling) but I don't even have room to turn around and check. I finally make it to an opening and I drop from the ceiling into a giant ballroom where it looks like some company is having a holiday party with a couple hundred guests. I start running through the ballroom screaming, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, THERE ARE SOME ALIEN MOTHERFUCKERS HACTCHING IN HERKIMER RIGHT NOW!" Out of the corner of my eye I see Tate and the chick standing by the buffet table, somehow all dressed up and filling cups at the punch bowl. "TATE, CHICK, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!? WHERE DID YOU GET THESE CLOTHES!? HOW DID YOU BOTH CHANGE SO FAST!? WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING!?" Tate sets his cup down and runs his hands down his jacket lapels, telling me, "A player looks sharp, doesn't he?" I stare at him in disbelief for three seconds, "TATE THAT ALIEN IS NOT GOING TO GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU'RE WEARING WHEN IT COMES IN HERE TO RIP YOUR FACES OFF!" He picks up his cup of punch and tells me, "We'll see," with a shit-eating grin. I look at the chick, stare at Tate for two more seconds, and then continue to bolt for the ballroom entrance faster than I've run since high school.<br /><br />I jump kick the doors open (for no reason), turn the corner and tear down the sidewalk toward Lake Street. I glance over my shoulder and see about a half dozen aliens crawling all over the outside of Herkimer. One of them sees me, jumps off the roof, and takes off after me. However, I am so thoroughly terrified by these acid-blooded, steel-teethed, spiked-tailed, film-franchised assholes that I am able to outrun him. I would estimate that I was running about thirty-five miles per hour, feet barely touching the pavement. As I am running down the middle of Lyndale Avenue at two in the morning, a now serene, carless stretch of street lights hidden by tree branches, I wake up.<br /><br />I was pissed off at Tate for all of the next day.<br /><br /><br /><br /></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293167876306874194" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 304px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiPNHIGP84fE-AfJf46tTabAe4xqh27oFymY0HNe7IwPyQTPd2VeV-cS_SOlxe9DJiMYuCLqLopNGm8gSNndfj6fTmsB5Aim6N6HX-w3_rIs6KIGf9aFCJ5KdRejb5H54VsVvayoMnza4/s400/aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.jpg" border="0" /></span>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-59688647676422434932009-01-19T17:49:00.002-06:002010-07-08T08:58:52.882-05:00SCHIAKU: A Collaboration Of Terri Schiavo Haikus Imagined With Nate And Kolby Circa 2005<strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#000000;">.</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;">terri was in track<br />but she always lost races<br />cuz she could not move<br /><br />your jump serve was rad<br />you really got air that time<br />too bad your spine snapped<br /><br />pile of drooling love<br />now a homey in tha sky<br />leaving me yearning<br /><br />saw you in a dream<br />with brand new air schiavos on<br />please let me tap it<br /><br />we made out one time<br />i got to second and third<br />you seemed to like it<br /><br />your dog killed itself<br />i would too if you named me<br />"ba gab kerk jab haf"<br /><br />my feet are scratched up<br />the sand can tax a balla<br />is your drool a balm?<br /><br />i passed it to you<br />you just let it hit the ground<br />i wish you could move<br /><br />playoffs are on FOX<br />terri, turn your boombox down?<br />nevermind, i will<br /><br />are you a gymnast?<br />i doubt you are any good<br />because you are dead<br /><br />terri, over here<br />schiavs, I'm open, hit me up<br />oh snap, you cant move</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;">i'll never forget</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;">you invited me to dance</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;">then you just laid there</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong><span style="color:#000000;"></span><br /><br /><span style="color:#000000;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 210px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 301px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293161027149423954" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix1pe5jmbIro5dTozDQeegRaBJ-45pSdNbFImKMf9hGiVOpg7Dge5YYehYHcK0xZGoNHYcAbUoHmqqR1LvOShqnNYTgwDd2ozZtvfl7vDY0mUy2t0D5ZfrOHaRSGdaWqshvOOyLqu0Nm4/s400/Terri-Schiavo.jpg" /> </span><br /><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#000000;"></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"></span></p>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-46180254356456503022009-01-19T17:22:00.004-06:002009-12-22T16:08:37.017-06:00Bat Facts<p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#000000;"><strong>.</strong></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong></strong></span></span></span> </p><p><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>gllen:</strong></span> <span style="color:#ffffff;">face the facts: CHKC CHKCH CH KCH KC CHKCHKC CHK.</span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="color:#c0c0c0;"><strong><span style="color:#3366ff;">mike: bat facts.<br />mike: bats can detect movement up to 500 yards away via sonar.<br />mike: they cannot detect dolphins though, bc their sonars cancel each other out.</span></strong><br /></span><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>gllen:</strong></span> <span style="color:#ffffff;">bat factn tchkchkn</span><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;"><span style="color:#3366ff;">mike: contrary to popular belief, not all bats can transform into vampires.<br />mike: in fact, only 23% of bats are vampires. </span></span></strong></span></span><span style="color:#000000;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong><span style="color:#3333ff;"><span style="color:#3366ff;">of that 23%, roughly 95% live in europe.</span><br /></span><span style="color:#ff0000;">gllen:</span></strong> <span style="color:#ffffff;">Bats live on just about anyplace imaginable in the universe, including on the moon.</span><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"><strong>mike: however because of the low gravity environment on the moon, bats dont get as much of a kick out of hanging upside down from things.</strong><br /></span><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>gllen:</strong></span> <span style="color:#ffffff;">It is estimated that in the year 2010, all wooden bats will be extinct.</span><br /><strong><span style="color:#3366ff;">mike: much like in NCAA baseball, aluminum bats seem to be the wave of the future.<br />mike: according to box office numbers from July 2008, some 900 million bats saw The Dark Knight during its premiere weekend.<br />mike: the previous record for bats at a film premiere was 36.</span></strong></span></span> </p><p></p><p></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">.</span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-28726679885884997132009-01-19T17:07:00.000-06:002013-05-14T16:48:11.741-05:00Top 6 Favorite Kevin Costner Photos<span style="color: black;">kevin 4 ever ldo</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxB0LXXTDewk2_v2tqFm416CQnfQLwEdD701Ys5hUN9awinsHdOJL8PQz2b71zPVBJfOMhT4GvfIpEHOLCrBPhcW3YvjKBHcnl-efH2e8d_kXkXDhqI8iRic-IRcjZgckkHibry477_1E/s1600-h/1.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293148004300655266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxB0LXXTDewk2_v2tqFm416CQnfQLwEdD701Ys5hUN9awinsHdOJL8PQz2b71zPVBJfOMhT4GvfIpEHOLCrBPhcW3YvjKBHcnl-efH2e8d_kXkXDhqI8iRic-IRcjZgckkHibry477_1E/s400/1.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 353px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 353px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFsQsrROTzvNSmTEggIuZOvx-lNb9WqQow9WL0KgVkW4Iobh-zL-MXzFWgLDpMs9nU9OjSah-zX2RkyJcIImN8YRFz4WBhhlHWZdVxoaND1EGAuMJzlpD4OESL8s1a2nBc_iWo3ArA434/s1600-h/2.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293147955306540130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFsQsrROTzvNSmTEggIuZOvx-lNb9WqQow9WL0KgVkW4Iobh-zL-MXzFWgLDpMs9nU9OjSah-zX2RkyJcIImN8YRFz4WBhhlHWZdVxoaND1EGAuMJzlpD4OESL8s1a2nBc_iWo3ArA434/s400/2.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 352px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig4PpS1D63Q2_KyqMFyxVFzFNqOIWT9m6Mve4UBLVzjmngnIFysTU3FzcIxh7oT9kpGGOdinCrj9TdJYW_4eecUXcMYiOP6GwaeKA1Ti5kPUXOUOKfJpgJ2kV9vDaYiAOk7jRfCeYM53E/s1600-h/3.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293147918637960146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig4PpS1D63Q2_KyqMFyxVFzFNqOIWT9m6Mve4UBLVzjmngnIFysTU3FzcIxh7oT9kpGGOdinCrj9TdJYW_4eecUXcMYiOP6GwaeKA1Ti5kPUXOUOKfJpgJ2kV9vDaYiAOk7jRfCeYM53E/s400/3.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 395px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 250px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiycUPUbfLDWb1a0-kqxh9UOiqc6u6t8_cnPcejPDt_FTaJ5umRlswQIyM2Hj68FxN1o5p9nZ6a-tAGkg50LGPgdPzFH6ZM1zP982f_xQ_w1q7I0AgALfDPoj2U1GPlPetrSYe83c8NKQY/s1600-h/4.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293147868792348754" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiycUPUbfLDWb1a0-kqxh9UOiqc6u6t8_cnPcejPDt_FTaJ5umRlswQIyM2Hj68FxN1o5p9nZ6a-tAGkg50LGPgdPzFH6ZM1zP982f_xQ_w1q7I0AgALfDPoj2U1GPlPetrSYe83c8NKQY/s400/4.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 192px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 256px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFXb2bJPahHm1crDLG4ZQq1eRyM07dPgBS4FBX6a8EZ0sHykdSgd-DdLqte-JISJUGkAXr44HI-vUcbIxgE6Eeyv0ckGgCzzgXk7Jt5LocRxW5KlScH84wiAquMLleXtJOCWqXBQVzNhg/s1600-h/6.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293147818861348834" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFXb2bJPahHm1crDLG4ZQq1eRyM07dPgBS4FBX6a8EZ0sHykdSgd-DdLqte-JISJUGkAXr44HI-vUcbIxgE6Eeyv0ckGgCzzgXk7Jt5LocRxW5KlScH84wiAquMLleXtJOCWqXBQVzNhg/s400/6.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 280px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 375px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPsn2PDMbU79xQ8hG9OuWgEUgjlczMdOZO60AbRYuTMVpVl0Z3LEyxYF3NkHBEJ7EhZXk2qD92Dj2o-z-_M7k9P-ZxnB_cxyNU9_amo63fDCpLt41mk8QanR1Bw_wkvHvFOLd05XRCVVE/s1600-h/5.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293147727129909714" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPsn2PDMbU79xQ8hG9OuWgEUgjlczMdOZO60AbRYuTMVpVl0Z3LEyxYF3NkHBEJ7EhZXk2qD92Dj2o-z-_M7k9P-ZxnB_cxyNU9_amo63fDCpLt41mk8QanR1Bw_wkvHvFOLd05XRCVVE/s400/5.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 293px;" /></a><br />
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MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212385654154033501.post-48735211174759577922009-01-19T14:08:00.005-06:002009-01-20T15:30:25.064-06:00A Blog Is Born<strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#000000;">.</span></strong><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="color:#cccccc;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Hello. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">One time in 2007 I was watching 'Survivorman' with Steve. During the episode, the hero was hunched over some tinder in the middle of a rainstorm doing his damndest to make fire. Finally, fire happened, and the hero declared, "We did it, we have fire. Cold, wet fire, but it is fire."</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Steve and I stopped and stared at each other while that processed.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">This blog is a tribute to that ever-elusive perfect storm of victory, humor, and failure that is best encapsulated by saying "Cold Wet Fire" with a straight face.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="color:#cccccc;"><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Thanks,</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Michael J. Ricketts</span></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cccccc;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#000000;">.</span></strong>MJRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07019858348375126009noreply@blogger.com4